Definition
I thought I needed to share this thought as I have been trying to get around it and avoid it for long. This has sort of suppressed my real intention, my passions and driving force for me doing what I am doing. I have always been drawn towards spirituality. I have always been drawn to the sanctum sanctorum of any temple. I have always found that path leaving out of the temple painful and an intense pain in moving away from the gopurams. I have always wanted to become an ascetic - a Sanyasi. I still have this intense feeling and I sort of desire it. Thats where the problem begins. I shall dwell upon this later, but this is where my current life began. This where thoughts fell in place. This recognition of this desire as a desire - Kama. A whole new set of thoughts poured in. As these thoughts took shape my mother land loomed large before me and I was in a place distant and alone. Alone to the onset of thoughts of guilt. Thoughts of shame. Why? Lack of direction. Two very powerful forces....