Monday, August 16, 2010

Ram in trouble

Suddenly in a flash I realized that I have been looking at Rama and Krishna as super Gods. With astras and divine powers they could surmount all challenges and be the Gods that they always were ... But this is a latter view. Our Ramayana and Mahabharatha are called Itihaasa - As They Happened and the little I know about these voluminous books was that neither book look at these personalities as Gods ...

Rama was pushed away from His throne to lose His wife and roam around for Her. Close to death several times He overcame His troubles ... Even at the instance of His fight with Raavan He is over come with doubt as to killing Raavan and has to be taught by Sage Agastya to focus on His energies for the fight.

Even before going with Vishwamitra Rama had to be coached by Sage Vasishta on the principles of Truth to dispel the self doubt of Ram.

Krishna on the other hand though aware of the Truth did not have a cake walk. He was constanlty on the run in His childhood and had to fight hard from that age in Vrindaavan, in Dwaraka and even with his relatives.

This sudden realization was the fact that in these characters I had laid so much of faith and deified belief that I had somehow held back on so many ventures in self doubt that its not possible at this age and time. Yet everyday we come across so many success stories of men and women who have withstood great inhuman difficulties to be recogonized as leaders in society.

Though I had been brought up being told that the movies are not true somewhere in the back the mind there is an intense longing to be perfect ... Be superb .. Be able to do those magical things that are stuff on the screen. Yet the fact that failure is also a part of life seem to be missed out in most narratives.

This has had a constant frustration in the mind as how to overcome this notion of failure ... I have always considered failure in a sense of doom though knowing fully the phrase 'Pillars of success'.

This sudden realization that its ok to fail ... Its ok to take a beating for a bad decision, its ok to feel the pinch, the heat of an unexpected turn brings about such a relief. What seems to matter most is to feel reselient, to hang inside to the dreams and work tirelessly to realize the possibilties that the failure has taught.

Subroto Bhagchi explains in his book 'Go kiss the world' that success is more getting out of the comfort zones that we have created around ourselves. I have been deifying my Ram and Krishna to the extent that I always have been asking 'Why me' rather than look at the reselience and decision making of these two men in their times. They are Gods for they persisted .... That was their Tapas

What a relief .... Thank You Mr. Bhachi

Go kiss the world

Saturday, August 14, 2010

In search ...

Fool am I to search for You
You who I thought were outside
In the temples in the places holy
In places of worship

Fool am I to think I can..
I can.. I could .. What illusion
How can I.. Where can I
Oh what a joke I have been

Slowly but steadily oh Lord
Slowly in my reference slowly
You have draged this fool
All the way to Yourself

Oh Lord my world has withdrawn
My thoughts have withdrawn
My foolishness so far has become apparent
Oh Lord I am mad in Your Love

Oh Lord You have been my father
My Mother My brother sister My All
Oh Lord You have been me
All along Oh Lord You have been me

Your Love Oh Bhagavan has withstood
This foolishness of mine
As I wretchedly searched for You
In the gutters of my senses

Oh Lord You have made me withdraw.
In Your presemce I dwell now
Your Light now ebbs out of every pore
Of my being, a mad obssessed lowly lover of Thine

Oh Lord Your presence is now clear to me
Your beauty today flows through my mind
Constantly questioning my habits
Calling them to merge in Thee

You now flow through these veins these nerves
As they jump in Thy awareness unable to take Thy grace

Oh Lord how do I explain this
Why do I even write this
Oh Lord show me Oh Lord
I can only with Thy grace

I can I can only with Thee
Only with Thee

Thee I see now in thoughts words sounds
Thee in sights colours shapes forms movements
Thee in logic ideas understanding
Oh Lord Thee I seek in me

Time is true, only to memory and desires
When these are but Thy grace in my understanding
I, just a reflection of Thy thoughts
In this conscioussness that Thy are

Oh what fool am I, now
Trying to explain Thee in words, that are Thee
Let me Oh Lord merge
This I seek for I am just my own illusion in Thee

Om Om Om I am Thee

Monday, August 09, 2010

Your Real Dimension


Swami Bhoomananda Tirtha

Aakaashaval-lepavidooragoham aadityavad-bhaasya-vilakshanoham .

Ahaaryavan-nitya-vinishchaloham ambhodivat paara-vivarjitoham ..

(From Adi Sankara's Vivekachoodamani)

"Like space, I can never be tainted by anything. Like sun (which reveals all objects but is revealed by its own brilliance), I am distinct from the things illumined (I shine in my own luster). Like mountain, I am ever unshakable. Like the ocean, I am unbounded."

THIS IS YOUR DIMENSION! The other dimensions are those of your body which your mother delivered. The body is yours, it is not you! With this Soul-dimension, you can sink, sink and sink – into the unfathomable depth within, or you can expand, expand and expand – encountering, receiving, assimilating and outliving anything coming from the wide world. All external inputs, in the form of interactions with places, persons or situations, will bring nourishment for growth of your mind and intelligence.

This is a comprehensive path of progress, an evergreen path of enrichment. And when your are satisfied with your growth, refinement and enrichment, when you feel fulfilled, sit wherever you are, and sing in tune with Adi Sankara –

Aakaashaval-lepavidooragoham aadityavad-bhaasya-vilakshanoham .

Ahaaryavan-nitya-vinishchaloham ambhodivat paara-vivarjitoham ..

Sunday, August 08, 2010

Radha Kalyanam

Oh Krishna I call you so
Pleading and yearning
You have no heed
You behave as though You dont care

Who do You think You are
Where do You think You can escape
Just like a theif who cannot escape his Dharma
You cannot escape my Love

Oh Krishna how long can You hide
How long can You run
How long can this go on
Oh deceiver Krishna

When my parents (Guru)
Meet You asking for Thy hand
How will You hide Oh Lover
Where will You hide

This Love of mine a moral
And human Love for Thee
I can show... for my ignorance
Matches that of a stone

Nay I dont deserve Thee
For my mind is not Yours yet
As I stray on the roads
Only to seek Thee in difficulty

Oh Lord Thy agreement with
My parents so Divine
I hold so precious
For You wait for me

For me to finish my desires
Roaming in Thy maze of Love games
Oh Lord is it time now
I ask... You smile and stay so serene

Thy presence so soothing I feel
I ask for Thee to marry me
You stay silent Oh Lord
Fool am I to ask Thee
For You have already agreed

In my mind I have thought
So many thoughts in my greed
You have always blessed me with what I need
In Your Love You show my path

Now the time has come
My Love in bloom
No thought of the other
For all has blurred into You

I see Thy Vishwaroopam
In me as You
Oh Lord my lover
I have merged in Thee

A reflection a shadow
In my ignorance
I have sought separateness in Thee
Oh Love Thee I am..
Thee I am...

Haa Vu Haa Vu Haa Vu