En Manas - My mind A rumble through thoughts and feeling so sporadic yet sometimes deep. Does one thought lead to the next and does this make me who I am. A diary for my emotions -
Monday, August 26, 2013
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Anklets

I know only one among these Oh Lord, those anklets Divine for they were on Her feet. They shine for when I fall at Her feet they appear as I rise.
I have not seen Her but for Her Divine presence with You.These jewels I know not
But to answer your question, the anklet belongs to my Divine Mother
Your wife Sita, Oh Rama
---------------------------------------------------------------
Have you seen these?
she asks with a smile on her face
Shaking her head
and letting them shake on her ears
Bright and beautiful
They add to the beauty of her smile
Have you seen these? .. she asks again
I am lost for I have not seen them
She says guess where it could have been
Knowing I dont follow womens faces beyond the eyes.. She says it was where you go every day. I still am puzzled .. for I do not know. She says these were on Lord Guruvayoorappans picture in the Puja room decorated on to the image and asks.. what do you do there....
Oh Lord, have I seen anything but you're feet?
Do you wear anklets?
I can hear their sounds but I .. I lie beneath Thy feet.
The goblin, the rakshasa, Maaya
whatever Thy Bhakthas may call ..
I pray to Thee ..
show me Thy form
"Crawling In The Dark" - Hoobastank
"Crawling In The Dark"
I will dedicate
And sacrifice my everything for just a second's worth
Of how my story's ending
And I wish I could know if the directions that I take
And all the choices that I make won't end up all for nothing
Show me what it's for
Make me understand it
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Is there something more than what i've been handed?
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Help me carry on
Assure me it's ok to use my heart and not my eyes
To navigate the darkness
Will the ending be ever coming suddenly?
Will I ever get to see the ending to my story?
Show me what it's for
Make me understand it
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Is there something more than what i've been handed?
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
So when and how will I know?
How much further do I have to go?
How much longer until I finally know?
Because I'm looking and I just can't see what's in front of me
In front of me
Show me what it's for
Make me understand it
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Is there something more than what i've been handed?
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Remain in me
Started as a doubt
Questioning You and creation
And where I belonged
Learning and Yearning for Truth
I was misled by my wrong thinking
To hold the body as a curse
And myself as a Sinner
Now You walk with me
And speak inside my mind
whispering the Truth
Like a lover would to His beloved
I've searched for Thee in places sacred
I've sought Thee in work And Love
While You were ever present in what I call me
Like a fool I've listened to lies
Now I try to listen hard
To your voice in my head
Trying to differentiate between
My noise and your voice
Like a lover now I wait for Thee
Your name etched to my thoughts
Your love mixed with every thought
I am yours in body and You in mind
I am....
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Yearning..
Where do those moments go
Where love joy and other thoughts
Take birth in the mind
Where does pain go
Moments of loss
Moments where nothing else
Would satisfy but the object of loss
Where does such strong emotions go
Of hate .... people places things
Born in my mind do they live
Do they linger on...
Do these represent the life I live
Memories, or reality in some parallel world
Carry on I will after this
Knowing that these make me who I am
But who am I really?
No book will satisfy this thirst
No adventure would put to rest this quest
I wont stop until I know...
Who I am ..
I.am.
Sat Chit Ananda

Thursday, May 02, 2013
Vikshepa Shakthi
As I try again to do plough through the Gita I stall and stumble... this is not the first time. There have been years in between verses where I could not make progress. Each time it was different...it was more difficult.. but never was it so dead of spirituality... no classes ...hardly any new book... very little satsang. My car rides to the factory are also silent ones...rarely an FM song on the radio
A new challenge ...a new situation... the challenge seems to be one that I have ignored for long...
Shravanam Mananam Nidhidhyasanam Dhyanam ....Dhyanam... Dhyanam
Stilling the mind and letting it be clear of thoughts and instilling in it a sense of Truth... and then the minds whips a scenario and runs loose... wild and uncouth! Imagining situations that never were...never will be...making them realities and giving them logic... raising strong emotions and raising the ego....SNAP!!!!
The onset of the preoccupation has been steady and seems to threaten the most basic of conversations...worry seems to be a common theme for the mind... a trailing issue from school can call for a host of thoughts from friends to not so friends... some good thought and some that could be very different...
Where did spirituality go... hidden among the mire of imagination...
The new war...the new challenge...an old problem... vikshepa Shakthi- wandering imaginative distractive power
I pray to you oh Divine Mother...show me the way!!!
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Back to Innocence
While I heap layer over layer of flowers
Chanting sacred hymns in the Lords name
I am aware of the thoughts that freely run
Over-lapping the meaningful devotion outwardly exhibited
With every flower that I wish to adorn His feet
I also humbly submit my thoughts unto Him
Knowing fully well that not all are but free of sin!
Thoughts are but a continuum of the minds rant
A habit of continuous ill use
Greed and lust take charge when logic stops
And unto fear i submit my will
Walking away from God until its prayer time..
Laced with these thoughts I watch
My children as they assist me in prayer
Innocent and clear in conscience they do
Mimicking my every action in mirth
Thoughts am sure are simple
Doing the task for tasks sake
Enjoying every bit of action done
Devoted only to fun they do,
What I try time and again and fail
I seek Thee Dear Lord
For I know my thoughts that flow
I seek Thy hands to work within
My mind that has ceased to play
Show me the joy in work
Show me Thy playful state
Let me regain that innocence
That I seem to have lost today
Let every action be in Thy thoughts
Let every thought be mixed in Thee
May You work these hands freely
For I seek to merge in Thee..
Sat Chit Ananda
http://wodumedia.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/A-Hindu-priest-holds-a-traditional-oil-lamp-as-he-performs-prayers-on-the-banks-of-the-River-Ganges-in-Allahabad-India-on-June-17-2011.-Allahabad-located-on-the-confluence-of-the-Rivers-Ganges-and-Yamuna-is-one-of-Hinduism-960x608.jpg
Tuesday, March 05, 2013
The 4 laws of Da Vinci
1. Study the art of science
2. Study the science of art
3. Use and develop all your senses, especially your sense of vision
4. Remember, in someway or another, Everything connects to everything else
Building brainpower - Dilip Mukerjea
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Pebbles in a stream

http://farm1.staticflickr.com/184/378504205_4b96221881.jpg
We're all just pebbles in a stream
Earth burnt and chilled
Made hard and rigid
Chipped by time and pushed away
To be thrown away from the parent rock
In bits, crude and sharp
Until time chips away the edges
As air and water, the elements in motion
Brought together and formed as pebbles
Edges round and surface smooth
We cuddle in with other stones
Until time as a stream separate us
To be pushed away again into change
Until time flows over and all the hardness is gone
As clay we form and mould ourselves into nature
Until that too disintegrates into space
And we become one with space
We know not why we are together
We know not why we travel through time
We know not why we change so
We know not what such a journey fulfills
It is true we are now pebbles
And together we remain in this moment
It is love that has brought us together
The same love that shall move us on
We are the same my love
Hold on to every moment in joy
Let us be in this moment for we recognize the Truth In Love
We are but pebbles in a stream
Why we remain together and how long
Shall be determined by the stream of time And Love
So long my loved one
It is time to move on
Sat Chit Ananda
Sunday, December 09, 2012
Offering- Arpan
I offer Thee a seat, wash Thy feet
Chandan (sandal paste), kumkum recognizing Thy Divinity,
I chant and pray offering flowers at Thy feet
An external devotion visible to the eye
Judged and commented by others
Yet there is unhappiness, a feeling of being incomplete
The awareness of ignorance and prejudice within un-adressed
A knowledge that whatever that could be offered by me as mine into you're feet is already Thine
Today I offer Thee what is truly mine
My thoughts good, bad, fowl, pleasant
My emotions, my disturbances, my sorrow,my anger
for these are truly mine aware only to Thee
Hence worthy to be offered to Thee for worship
For now I pray to give me the knowledge, the patience, the forbearance, the understanding and acceptance
That all that is going within the mind is a product of my own doing and that I truly deserve such a situation
And all that I offer to you that is good is You're own doing in Thy Infinite Kindness
While i offer to Thee all the blessed offerings externally as prescribed
I offer Thee internally all my shortcomings
Now I am truly happy with this prayer for I pray with an own heart through all the disturbances that You are my final destination and I offer myself whole heartedly to Thee
Kaayena Vaacha Manas Indriyeerva
Budhyatvanava prakruteysvabhavad
Karomi Yad Yad Sakalam Parasmay
Narayanayeti Samarpayaami
Monday, October 01, 2012
Visualize - incomplete Oct 2012
Him I try to reach
He keeps moving further away
Him I search in places
And He is missing when I reach there
Him I try to see with the fleshy eyes
Him I dream to hold to do my whimsical. ..
Can I wake up in thy arms
Can I wake up in thy arms
Will I see the deep blue oceans
In thy gaze
The ever expansive skies
In you're love for me
The fresh streams giving life
In thy tears of joy
The light kisses of the breeze
As our lips lock
The first warmth of the morning sun
In making love to you
Can I ever compare the richness of nature
In our mortal love
Can I search for the meaning of infinite
In our relationship
Can this journey of togetherness
Give meaning to life
I drop this search
I give up this restraint
For our love needs no meaning
I am Vishnu and you Lakshmi
I am Shiva and you Shakthi
I am Brahma and you Saraswati
We are one not two
We are A-dwaita
Now tell me
Can I wake up in thy arms
Om Tat Sat
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Veil
does He walk into my world as a child
does He slip into my life as a friend
does He test me as a foe
does He just stand passively as a stranger
Whom do i ask these questions
Oh Lord.. .You are the babe, the friend, the foe or any form of life
Why then this agony my Lord
Show me the way
For i Cannot be but You and You me
i am Thy reflection an apparition a blip in Your Dream
Oh Lord, shed this veil.. .I seek Thee
Om Tat Sat
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Being ... just being
When words dont come
When words lose their meaning
When words just fall short
When life suddenly is just a moment
When that thought just doesnt make sense
When the mind is full and the brain doesnt connect
When the heart just doesnt slow
When that feeling within just doesnt make sense
That sense of being Divine
yet alive to the pains of life
That sense where the world is just a dream
yet being deep in the problems of the past
That sense where the Gods are just good friends
yet the devil stares back saying am still around
That sense when being alive itself is a gift
A sense of being closest to infinity
I am that...
Sivoham
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Good News
Every one has a bit of good news in them
The good news is that
You really don't know
How great you can be
How much you can love
What you can accomplish
What your potential its!! !
Anne Frank
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
William Blake
He who binds to himself a joy
Doth the wine life destroy
But he who kisses the Joy as it flies
Lives in Eternity`s sunrise
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Looking for the Gifts
Monday, May 21, 2012
Destiny
You are what your deep driving desire is. As its your desire so is your will. as is your will so is your act. As is your act so is your destiny
Kathopanishad
Ashok Soota @ Zen Garden
Life its meant to be a flow; every flow is meant to be uneven and therein lies the capacity to make progress
Subroto Bagchi
Thought
What we seek as our highest goal depends upon what we believe ourselves to be - Sri Ramanuja
All that we are is tree result of what we have thought - Buddha
When we believe we are the mind, no matter what we are doing, part of the mind cannot help but chew over the same problems over and over. - Eknath Easwaran